Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a blender
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
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