They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Randomize
