Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
we have pet lesbian snakes
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
