no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
