whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize