I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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