Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is classic penis vs brain.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize