After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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