somebody snuck up and got me drunk
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
