i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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