what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
bring money and cleavage
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
