Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
they're like a gay fantastic four
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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