she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I don't deserve a penis
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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