Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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