I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
