I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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