would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
