Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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