I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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