woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
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