NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Randomize
