I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
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