i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
