I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
