It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
