Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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