So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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