I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
