he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
