Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
