I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
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