tell your sister to shave her snatch
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Randomize
