No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
