Apparently you make a good broom.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize
