Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
