So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
