with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize