In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
