If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
