so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
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