Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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