I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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