Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize