The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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