dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
