And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Bring me that man meat
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
