She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
