I just made out with a guy for $7.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize
