Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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