I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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