he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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