where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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