We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
