at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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