Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize