Will you blow on my dice?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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