He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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