I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
