I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
