I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
